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steve’s column
Do inquiring minds really want to know? By STEVE LANG “The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.” – Tom Clancy, paraphrasing Mark Twain “We journalists make it a point to...
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Baseball still the game for all reasons By STEVE LANG “If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even...
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Back to Boquillas By STEVE LANG “We took a rowboat ‘cross the Rio Grande/Captain Pablo was our guide/For two dollars in a weathered hand/He rowed us to the other side.” – from “Gringo Honeymoon,” by...
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Recovering Scandinavian By STEVE LANG “It has been said that the only thing that ever changes in the Lutheran Church is the color of the Jell-O® served at the monthly potluck dinners.” – submitted by...
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Measuring jobs by meter and lyrics By STEVE LANG “I’m a lumberjack and I’m O.K….” – from Monty Python’s Flying Circus, sung by Michael Palin Nadine Stair wrote that if she had her life to live over,...
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Inter-netting more fishy tales By STEVE LANG “If an eel lunges out/and it bites off your snout/that’s a moray…” – Anonymous My father used to tell me that the secret of successful fishing was to fish...
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M is for a multitude of mirthful memories By STEVE LANG “May you stay forever young.” – Bob Dylan My 91-year-old mother still bakes and sends her 63-year-old son cookies, while I tell her jokes. During...
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Appreciating teachers’ tolerance By STEVE LANG “There are three good reasons to be a teacher – June, July and August.” – Unknown In another setting, fumbling with scissors and flubbing finger painting...
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Cardboard plus sentiment equals boxes of baseball cards By STEVE LANG “ I knew when my career was over. In 1965, my baseball card came out with no picture.” – Bob Uecker In the 1960s, the minimum wage...
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Navigating toward Father’s Day By STEVE LANG “Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.” – Red Buttons Even with an instruction manual, I estimated my chances of success as...
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steve’s funny column
Keeping history in the rear view mirror By STEVE LANG “Don’t look back; something might be gaining on you.” – Satchel Paige A sure way of chronicling past and present – and where you fit in – is to...
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Chemically imbalanced: right times for wrong answers By STEVE LANG “Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different “impression,” so...
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Chemically imbalanced: right times for wrong answers By STEVE LANG “Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different...
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This is funny because . . . By STEVE LANG “Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.” – Lily Tomlin Frequently – probably semi-weekly – I peruse various sources to find inspirational...
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Baseball fever is ‘World Serious’ By STEVE LANG “I couldn’t a done it without my players.” – Casey Stengel, after the New York Yankees won the 1958 World Series After weighing various subjects,...
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A phone call from Dave By STEVE LANG “A goose may honk but will not wave.” – Al Finley, created by Patrick F. McManus Roughly 13 months ago, I called my old Minnesota friend Dave Balgaard on my new...
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March into these special observances By STEVE LANG “I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.” – Henny Youngman Spring break afforded me the opportunity – unlike a...
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Batting around a few old memories By STEVE LANG “Bifocals are not a ballplayer’s friend.” – Dwight Walvatne My previous experiences with meeting a county sheriff in the courthouse had nothing to do...
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Photographic memories and scenes best forgotten By STEVE LANG “The quickest way to make money at photography is to sell your camera.” – Anonymous When digital photography arrived, my favorite line...
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Small towns, memories and a beer By STEVE LANG “The nice thing about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you’re doing, someone else does.” – Immanuel Kant My last actual stop in my...
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